Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you win again, gameday.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
it glows. i had to have it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
