This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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