I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
