Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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