we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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