So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
