this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.