Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
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Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...