why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.