she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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