Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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