i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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