I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
