If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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