If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My hand turned me down
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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