I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
try to milk me bitch
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