great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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