Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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