I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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