yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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