In the future we'll all be gay
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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