I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
