can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
