And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
