eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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