even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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