so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
