I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
