Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
