i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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