Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
