I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
