yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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