Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
