You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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