If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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