ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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