you would pick up someone in the library
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
