I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
