did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
