my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize