I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
false alarm. still invincible.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
