let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
