It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
