I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
