Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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