Just mADE A PArabola og urine
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
