i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
