We're like a lot better than the average bears
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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