I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
