He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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