I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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