you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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