So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
