help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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