I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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