Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
