I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
