I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
