Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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