Buhtt sex?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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