They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
