Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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