member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Randomize
